Making Long Descriptive Useful Posts!

Okay many of the things that have been previously talked about are of vital importance here. However description is not something that was covered in the other threads. Therefore, this thread will have several posts in it for you to read over. I am sorry if I seem to take a long approach to this, but this is the only way. One line posts [angry face] will be a thing of the past with this thread's help.

Okay here is a boring one-line post that we will be working with in this post. It will be turned into several paragraphs:

Quote :

A youngboy sat undera tree thinking.

Well the first thing I notice is incorrect use of spelling. How easy is this to fix? So simple and yet so easily overlooked by many. Here is how I would fix the spelling.

Quote :

A young boy sat under a tree thinking.

Okay I am not finished with this yet as there is nothing to reply to in this post. Next the writer of this post, in this case being me as I do not want to embarrass anyone, though I did make it anyways.

Description can be looked at in a number of ways. I know that for some, it is difficult to do, as you see things in your head, but are not easily able to put them down for others? I know that some of you would ahve been in this place, I have been myself, and I'm close to being a rea published author!

Now lets look at this paragraph. Hmmm... Not much is talked about. A boy. A tree. The boy thinking. I can think of a whole different way to approach this post.

Questions jump to the front of my mind about this little paragraph. What kind of tree? What does the boy look like? How young do they mean? What are they sitting on? And what are they thinking about? Did you have these questions in your head? That sentence was very plain.

So lets focus on the the tree. This is what I would have put for that part.

Quote :

A huge old mallorn tree sat atop a hill. The tree had many old gnarled branches what wove in every direction. Silvery green leaves adorned the crown of branches, some of which beant towards the ground.

How much more intersting is that? And how much of a picture do we get? Now you actually know what kind of a tree is in the picture. Yet there is stilla lot of fog covering the rest of the picture illustrated in this sentence.

Next we'll tackle the boy. This is what I see in my mind's eye.

Quote :

Under the plentiful shade of the mallorn, there sat a young boy. His face dimpled as he smiled, thought his eyes were closed as he thought. Locks of golden hair framed his pale skinned face, some of them floating in the cool breeze that caressed his face gently. His back rested against the cool bark of the tree.

Again this makes a lot more of the picture showing up for us. Though there is still a bit of fog in my mind. Last but not least we need to know what it is that he is thinking about. Though you may think of something else, this is what is in my head, since he's own young, about thirteen in my mind.

Quote :

Katrina. Oh how much I missed her. There was no one worth more to me in the world other than Eragon and my father. Though my family was small, I hoped that one day, Katrina and I might become more than freinds. It was more than likely, I definately wanted that to happen. Maybe one day I should tell her..

The finished paragraph, with all our new changes went from this:

Quote :

A young boy sat under a tree thinking.

All the way into this:

Quote :

A huge old mallorn tree sat atop a hill. The tree had many old gnarled branches what wove in every direction. Silvery green leaves adorned the crown of branches, some of which beant towards the ground.
Under the plentiful shade of the mallorn, there sat a young boy. His face dimpled as he smiled, thought his eyes were closed as he thought. Locks of golden hair framed his pale skinned face, some of them floating in the cool breeze that caressed his face gently. His back rested against the cool bark of the tree.
Katrina. Oh how much I missed her. There was no one worth more to me in the world other than Eragon and my father. Though my family was small, I hoped that one day, Katrina and I might become more than freinds. It was more than likely, I definately wanted that to happen. Maybe one day I should tell her.

So we took this from a simple 7 word paragraph to a whopping 154 words. See how easy it is to make a post grow so well? You could go into more detail, but I chose to limit myself. It gets easier as you keep remembering to do the things that I have outlined here.